BRIEF ON PARENTAL ALIENATION
Primary VAWA 2021 Bill Sponsors:
Representative Sheila Jackson Lee
Senator Dianne Feinstein
Brief Produced by:
A consortium of experts representing a large network of international organizations 
April 6, 2022

4. Overview of Parental Alienation

4.1 Parental alienating behaviors is a descriptive term that refers to a range of coercively
controlling abusive behaviors that have been documented by domestic violence scholars for
decades: particularly related to the use of children as a weapon against their other parent.
Parental alienating behaviors serve to make a child believe their other safe and loving parent
never loved them, is dangerous, and abandoned them.
4.2 Scholars of parental alienation have relabeled these coercively controlling behaviors as
parental alienating behaviors because they are concerned with how it affects the child who is
used as a weapon. The weaponization affects the child’s attitudes and behaviors towards the
victim of coercively controlling abuse- the outcome of this weaponization is called parental
alienation. In other words, parental alienating behaviors and coercively controlling behaviors are
two terms for exactly the same thing.
4.3 Parental alienation affects both the children who are victims of parental alienation and the
alienated parent (sometimes called the targeted or victim parent), as well as their extended family
and communities.
4.4 Alienating behaviors may be unintentional, in the sense that the alienating parent is unaware
of the likely results. When identified such behavior must be recognized and remedied.
4.5 Both parents are responsible for the healthy development of their child, including promoting
a proper loving relationship, which includes frequent regular contact between the child and both
parents and their extended families. Parental alienation adversely affects the psychological
development of the child in that it prevents a natural, healthy bond and relationship with a parent.
4.6 Parental alienation usually develops when parents are engaged in separation or divorce and
the child allies strongly with one parent (the ‘preferred parent’ or ‘alienating parent’) and rejects ​
​a formerly healthy relationship with the other parent (the ‘alienated parent’), without legitimate
justification.
4.7. There are cases in which the abusive behavior of one of the parents is so extreme that a
complete rupture of the relationship with the child is justified, but these cases are rare and are a
different form of family conflict referred to as “parental estrangement.” Again, parental
alienation refers to rejection for unjustifiable reasons.
4.8 The impact of parental alienating behaviors on a child’s psychosocial development is
substantial. An alienated child, who has been convinced that one of the parents is bad, violent, or
unworthy, and has not observed normative parenting, may believe that they are is in some way
unworthy, having internalized the denigration of that parent, who is part of the child. This may
lead to difficulty in forming relationships and bonds with future partners and/or with their future
children and has been related to several long-term negative consequences such as anxiety and
depression.
4.9 It is also important to note that within proceedings following separation in the family courts,
false allegations of domestic abuse and/or parental alienation are sometimes made. Each
allegation must be carefully examined by the court. Sometimes there is both psychological abuse
by alienation and physical or sexual abuse in the same family (called “hybrid cases”). There is no
reliable scientific evidence (as opposed to anecdotes by parents who regard court decisions as
being wrong) that men or women are more likely to raise false allegations or that courts
systematically prefer fathers over mothers or vice-versa, or that allegations of one kind of abuse
trump allegations of abuse of other types. There are rare cases in which abuse of a child is so
egregious as to prohibit any form of contact between the child and the perpetrator, but it is
unconscionable that the mere allegation of abuse should preclude contact of any kind.

5. Parental Alienating Behaviors and Impact

5.1 It is relevant and beneficial to further explain ‘parental alienating behaviors.’ These
behaviors, which are gender neutral, have been observed by mental health professionals, family
law judges and lawyers, across the world for many decades. There are hundreds of articles, book
chapters and other pieces of scientific descriptive, qualitative and quantitative research around
the phenomena, which have appeared in peer-reviewed publications.
5.2 Parental alienating behaviors are, therefore, both:
· The observable and measurable evidence within families of the process (and therefore
evidence that Parental alienation exists, whichever descriptive term one prefers to use);
· The cause of the weaponizing of children and the emotional /psychological damage and
harm to children, hence a form of domestic abuse/family violence/child abuse.
5.3 Children who are exposed to parental conflict on a regular basis are likely to suffer emotional
harm. The fact that the parents are separated does not make the impact of harm any less
concerning. It is not only overt violent and aggressive dynamics that impact negatively on child ​development; hostility and conflict between parents that is frequent, intense and unresolved can
also have an adverse impact, creating toxic stress within the child which will manifest over time,
as psychological disturbances and even psychiatric illness. This is an Adverse Childhood Event
(ACE) and is a public health issue of deep importance. The longer the child is without contact
with a parent, the deeper the damage; this means that allegations of interference with child parent
contact must be dealt with swiftly, so as to prevent exacerbation. Continuing to recognize
and define parental alienation as child and domestic abuse give the courts and child welfare
authorities the powers needed to intervene immediately.
5.4 The range of alienating behaviors, which may involve wider family members, especially
grandparents, as well as parents, include triangulation –making the child align with one of the
parents and reject the other. The abuse, of the child and of the parent and his family, consists of a
pattern of behaviors, sometimes of different kinds. These are some examples:
· Creating a false narrative by telling the child falsehoods and/or distorting the child's
memories about the alienated parent’s behavior;
· Constantly painting the alienated parent in a negative light to the child without
foundation;
· Providing false information to third parties to harm the alienated parent;
· Telling the child the alienated parent is coming to pick them up, knowing that is not
true, and making the child wait for hours for a parent who does not come;
· Pressuring the child to feel allegiance/loyalty to them, for example, telling the child they
will not love them anymore if they ‘choose’ the alienated parent;
· Pressuring/rewarding the child to reject the alienated parent or to be defiant, violent or
disruptive towards the alienated parent, and/or sanctioning the child for non-compliance
with the wishes of the alienating parent;
· Coaching and coercing the children to say or write negative or false things about the
alienated parent to child protection reporters and authorities;
· Treating the child like a best friend, seeking comfort from the child when feeling upset,
placing the child in the middle as communicator and mediator, exposing the child to
details of legal proceedings (Parentification or Adultification);
· Allowing the child to refuse contact with a parent on the basis of a trivial or perceived
problem.
5.5 The impact of parental alienation on the alienated parent includes:
·The fear of no longer being allowed to have a meaningful relationship with the children
and the fear of never seeing them again, leading to acute psychological and emotional
harm;
·The psychological damage of unwanted rejection and through having the child turn
against the parent and withhold affection;
·The social stigma of being recognized as a “rejected” parent;
·Increased levels of anxiety and depression; in the more severe cases, alienated parents
have been known to take their own lives, or attempt to do so;
·The financial burden of having to seek continual legal redress to maintain contact and to
prove that parental alienation is taking place;
·Poor performance at work or studies, and disruption of personal life and relationships,
arising from ambiguous loss.